Positivity

I am a person with a big love of life. This doesn't mean that things always go my way. In fact, I'm sure as often as they do they don't. But recently I'd realized I'd lost my joy for the day-to-day. My workouts had become chores, making dinner another "job", and talking about my day with my husband and stepkids a burden. In fact, all the things that used to put me in my happy place were suddenly just extra things I had to do. What happened? How did it happen? 

I read a saying on the side of a lululemon bag once (I know - profound ;) that has resonated with me ever since: if you wake up two days in a row unhappy, change something. Sure, we can all have a bad day, but when it starts to become your norm, it's up to each of us to recognize this and make changes.

She probably has no idea how much her positive energy affected me when I met her. All the ladies on the Guinness team were fantastic and when I say they all inspired me for one reason or another that is wholeheartedly the truth. But one lady I got to know a little better and when messaging me the other day she said, "Life is Awesome!!!" It made me stop, evaluate, and question why I even had to stop. I have good health, I have an AMAZING and gorgeous husband, I have two pretty great stepkids, I love being active and busy, but I was not facing the reality: I was unhappy in one major area of my life. I responded with "It is pretty great!" but immediately missed that passion for life she has that I used to have. And knew it needed to change, now! (Thank you Debbie :) So, what was it? What was causing me to lose my passion for the day-to-day? The answer was simple: my job.

Changing a job is scary. Especially when you're well respected at your job and you make a good paycheque and you're used to your routine and so are your managers (ie: I have a hard run tonight so I'm checking out early...). Making a decision based on feeling rather than logic can be scary. But no matter what logic told me - good pay, great benefits, etc etc - the emotion had taken over and I'd lost my love of my day-to-day. I missed the feeling of being challenged and the feeling of being scared and excited about the next project at work. I missed thinking life is awesome ALL the time instead of just before and after work. I missed not dreading Monday's and living for Friday's. 

So, I've taken the leap. And it's a big one and one that has me getting more time for me but less pay as a result. It has me reworking my routine and being excited about it! I haven't even started and already tonight making dinner was fun and chatting with the kids about their day was fun! 

Someone at work expressed their sadness for me leaving today but then said, "I'm happy for you. Your light is back!" And that was the only thing I needed to hear to know I had made the right decision. I don't even talk to this lady much and even SHE could recognize my light had gotten a little dimmer than it used to be. I am so excited for this next opportunity and shining brighter than ever! Thank you to my husband for always supporting my decisions and always choosing happiness over money! 

The picture below is an exaggeration (sorta) as I left my job for the last time today! Excited much? Ah, the old me is still in there :)

May Recap June Preamble

I've always thought there are few things in life that are a once in a lifetime experience. And yet I'm learning that these experiences can happen often, if you let them.

Recently my sister posted a blog about anxiety which I really admired because for one, she's not one to speak out (the one area we are very different ;)) and two, I suffer from it too but have never fully accepted that until now. As I'm aging it's getting worse and the only reason I can think of is just how much I have to lose now. I feel lucky to have been given a second chance at marriage, the ability to do what I love in sport, and good health to do it. Anxiety makes me fear losing it all and anxiety at times causes me to be certain that it will all flutter away any day now. And somehow, just somehow, sport enables me to conquer this anxiety, and do things and push limits I've already convinced myself on any given day are not possible.

There's my intro to this past month. Now let's talk about the pretty cool opportunities I've been given to face my anxiety head on. 

May started our bike racing season off. I've been training hard this winter with Jack Van Dyck out of Talisman Centre and even though I've seen huge improvements, I am never confident until I put them out on the race course. I told my coach I wanted top 3 in the Velocity ITT and the rest didn't matter! 1st in the ITT, 1st in the Roadrace, and 8th in the crit for an overall placement of 3rd for the weekend and a few extra bucks in my pocket. Good things can happen when I face my anxiety head on! I never ever expected to win that roadrace, and had convinced myself once again, a once in a lifetime experience. Oh wait - that was last year I convinced myself of that. There's such a thing as once in a lifetime experience repeating itself?

How about organizing a team of strong talented beautiful women to attempt a Guinness World Record? How about achieving a Guinness World Record and crushing it by almost 30k?! Why set limits when you don't even know what they are? Another once in a lifetime experience...or was it? I feel like this group of ladies are bonded for life and may just have other tricks up their sleeves. Stay tuned!

This past weekend I entered a duathlon for training for my upcoming Great White North Duathlon that is my target race of this season. I went in without expectations and surprisingly less anxiety than ever. My foot pain had returned and I almost didn't do it because I'd convinced myself if I did my foot would break again. It didn't. I ran hard, I biked hard, I ran hard again (yes I puked a bit) and managed third place overall and first woman overall, chicking all but two guys. Still not sure how that happened!

What's to come? Well, June is full of bike races, then the duathlon in July and a Gran Fondo. And then I plan to "retire" for a year and experience another once in a lifetime experience and try for a baby of my own. I'm pretty convinced this will be a one time thing, but I'm learning I can't say that anymore when something amazing happens! 

What is your once in a lifetime? What makes you SO happy you are pretty sure it couldn't possibly happen twice? We all have them! Find yours...it's a powerful tool for coping with the ups and downs of life, whatever that means for you!

I am a proud supporter of women in sport. And it doesn't mean winning races. It means putting your all into something. Letting yourself face your fears and proving to yourself that you can do just about anything you set your mind to. Have you wanted to start your own business? Have you wanted to travel somewhere? Have you wanted to change careers, or even just move jobs? I dare you....

Live, Love, Run, Bike!

Wow, how has 3 months gone by since my last post? It's been an exciting 3 months and I'm eager to share it with all of my readers.


What's New?
I spent last week in Penticton at a cycling training camp with Peloton Racing. Gorgeous weather and a great group of people made the week a success. But I was also pretty proud of myself, comparing myself year-over-year when I attended this camp last year.


Last year at this time I rode my "Longest Ride Ever" (strava title) which was 112km. Two days later I rode 144km, marking a new longest ride ever. I came home feeling pretty accomplished - 256 km over a course of 4 days seemed pretty hardcore to me!


Let's go forward a year to last week. 456km over 4 days and a new longest ride ever of 155km (thanks for being my good? influence Ania!). Following that new milestone, the very next day I chased a fellow teammate, Karel Bergmann, up Mount Baldy in Penticton capturing the QOM by over ten minutes and increasing my FTP. For those of you not familiar with these terms, QOM means Queen of the Mountain. It's a strava term and if you haven't heard it before you need to get on strava! FTP is your functional threshold power. Make sense? Didn't think so - dumbed down it is essentially the power (measure on a bike) you can hold for one hour.


Here is the victory shot from the top of Mt. Baldy, along with my tow-rope, Karel! @visitpenticton featured this shot in their IG feed, so I was pretty stoked about that!

I am also happy to report that I'm back with my coach from last year and I'm also back running more frequently! It's been over a month now where I'm able to run without any pain at all and even able to push the paces a bit. I surprised myself by running on feel* about a month ago and ended up running 10k at 4:10/km pace. I'm on my way back! And I need to be, because I have some other exciting news:


What's Next?
This year the Great White North Triathlon is also hosting a duathlon event for the very first time. It's a world's qualifier and the world's event just so happens to be held in Penticton of next year.


I know what you're thinking - how are you going to race that if you're pregnant? What happened to those plans? Well, obviously, I won't race if I'm pregnant. And I have to qualify for World's first, anyways, which could be a MEGA challenge considering it brings out the best. But, like all things in life, nothing is for sure. I am not guaranteed I will even be successful in getting pregnant, so I'm carrying on as I would and will obviously adjust my schedule should I end up pregnant in the near future.


I have learned through one failed marriage and many other personal obstacles over these past few years that there are many things in life out of your control no matter how hard you work at something or how badly you want something. So it's always good to find happiness in the now, in the things that are going your way, because plans can change whether you want them to or not.


So, what makes me happy now? My bike, my running shoes, my husband, my dogs, and chatting with my sister. This is my now!


Food for Thought
*I have been seeing more and more posts and articles lately on running and cycling based on feel. Many of us endurance athletes are data junkies. We swear we are "Garmin powered" or whatever device it is one uses. We spend more time analyzing our data than actually performing the activity. Without it, we are certain our legs wouldn't even move! We can't wait to upload our activity; in fact, we do that before getting out of our sweaty gear!  Aside from making us look like crazed lunatics to the regular person, it can also have detrimental training effects. A few of the studies I've read claims it puts more pressure on ourselves to get faster, better, stronger and push through paces we have pushed through before, even if we are not feeling it that day. It can lead to injury and burnout faster.


So I challenge you all to put away the watch, or the power meter, (at least hide it from your view), and go for a "free-ride" or "free-run" every once in a while. You might rekindle your love for the sport if you find you are not making any progress.


Guinness World Record
As many of you know, the Guinness World Record attempt is going down in just over a month. We are well on our way with fundraising events. If you have not purchased a calendar from me yet, please do! For just $25 you can support such a great cause and get some fun reading in, as each month includes a bio of the runner and a picture or two, or three (some of them ladies were just too photogenic!). I could be your Miss June (Mrs. June, in reality) of 2017 ;)


Taking the lead on the female team has been so inspiring. I am continuously in awe of the things this group of ladies has accomplished, even in just the four months of getting to know them. It has shown me the beauty of running. Running is so much more than personal bests and podiums. It's about the community and everyone trying to do better for themselves, and even more often, for others.


"Life is a marathon, so let's train for it!"

New Year, New Focus

It's been a while since my last post but that's because I was too busy doing everything BUT running and biking. But I'm easing my way back to running and I've lined up my coach again for cycling...wait cycling? Yes! This is my new year, new focus...for the first half anyways. I've never focused on cycling and with one season under my belt I'm no longer a newbie and would love to see what I can do on two wheels!

Since getting injured a lot has happened to this one-track-running-mind of mine. Not only have I overcome my fear of swimming (see last posts) but I have found a new obsession: xcountry skiing. In fact I love it so much that even after seeing The Revenant, which was filmed in kanaskis country, I am still eager to get out there and ride my skis! The cross training it has provided is phenomenal. The few runs I've done have been surprisingly speedy, for four months off! This is why I have changed focus...I can still run at a high caliber while enjoying the many other things life has to offer me. 

That being said....I have a pretty exciting running event on my calendar also. I was given the opportunity to organize a team of 12 local female runners to take on the Treadmill Relay 24 hour event Guinness World Record. That's right - Guinness world record!!!!! Well now THIS gets me excited about running again. It's for an amazing cause. There will be a men's relay team along with two crazy soloists (sorry guys but you're crazy!!!) and we are joining forces to raise money for Mito Canada, a charity organization for mitochondrial disease that affects a local endurance athlete's family. I can't pass up an opportunity like this! And pretty excited at the amazing talent I will get to run along beside at this event!

So that takes up my first half of the year. Why am I copping out so early? Well, I have some pretty exciting plans for the second half. My hubby and I have decided we would like to expand our family and are aiming to do so this year. I can think of some pretty awesome reasons to have a baby...like stroller races and mom strength...oh and a little human being to take up all my time and energy and sanity ;) but seriously, as nervous as I am equally excited and also know that I don't want to keep putting it off. There will always be another race to train for, another holiday to go on, or whatever other reasons I've used until now. And for me, personally, I do want to look back on my life and have a mini-me to share it with. I do, however, wish my little girl could be delivered to my front doorstep and I could just skip the whole being pregnant thing! *sigh* And I've decided I'm having a girl, in case any of you missed that!

Let's talk about the elephant in the room now, my foot - well I'm happy to report it's on the mend. I thought I had potentially refractured it but it's just weak and requires patience. But it's getting there and I feel optimistic that this four month hiatus will just be a blip in my past one day very soon. Kinda like pregnancy (I hope) cause I have NO desire to be pregnant. But I'm trying to liken pregnancy to training for a PB - before you know it the race is here and you forget about the hard work it took to get there. Except that instead of losing weight I'll be gaining it, retaining water, swelling......ya ok maybe I'm not quite "ready"...oh this is gonna be fun :)

That's all I got for you for now but stay tuned for some exciting fundraising events the ladies GWR team has planned. You've always wanted a desktop Calendar of ladies in action right? Or our recipes for our speedy secrets? Those all can be yours very soon! 😉

"How is Your Foot?"

"How is your foot?" I think I've heard that question more than "How are you?" in the past 5 weeks and to be honest, I'm not going to answer it with a "Ya it's fine" because I care more about my foot than how my day is. And I assume you do too? So, if you ask me how my foot is, I'm going to tell you. So don't expect an "it's fine" response like you would get when you ask me how my day is. Be prepared for more than a two word reply.

Let's step back a day. How is your foot? I would have responded, "It's feeling great. I'm going to be smart about it though and simply go to the pool and get lapped by old women again. But, I'm ok with that because I am improving. Yes, I can now officially swim 3 laps without stopping! Improvement is what keeps me going, no matter what I am doing. And even though 3 laps is still only 75m it's enough to keep me hungry to go back for more. I'm going to go home and kudo everyone's amazing runs and outdoor bike rides (in November, nonetheless) and it's not going to make me remotely want to join them. In fact, I'm going to feel happy that I finally have an excuse to NOT feel guilty about NOT going running. I could get used to this!!!"

That was yesterday.

Today, if you asked me, "How is your foot?? I would have responded with "TERRIBLE! In fact, I'll probably never run again."

Today it is bad because I climbed a flight of stairs too fast, and painted my stepdaughter's bedroom, and shopped, and cooked lasagna (yes, I know - great diet food while I'm unable to run) and did I mention I didn't sit down until now? So my foot hates me because five weeks later simply standing on it all day STILL HURTS! Ya, you can probably guess, today was a bad day. Add a beautiful "winter" day to the mix and a strava CR being ripped from beneath my feet (no pun intended) and there is nothing I can do about it. The fact that it was from Seattle is besides the point right now!

Injuries are a funny thing and they F* with your head. To be perfectly honest, I'm dealing with it better than I ever imagined. But I still have those days that if you ask me how my foot is, I'm going to tell you!

The ironic thing is is that seeing people run and bike is still inspiring me more than it's not and makes me hungry to get back out there. So keep it up, please. If I curse your name take it as a compliment. On my inspiration list is obviously Trevor Hofbauer with his amazing achievement recently, and my sister Christine who has taken up running again and who is so naturally talented it's quite sickening ;)

Last week I found out that Canadian Half Marathon Championships are actually going to be held in Calgary for a few more years to come and they have kept the sub elite program at 1:27; so, I have officially qualified with my BMO Okanagan half marathon and sending in my application ASAP. It's also giving me incentive to behave by staying off my bike because I have bigger plans for my running future than my basement biking career that is setting back my healing schedule. Don't get me wrong...I still plan to race bikes next season but I first must run my heart out at Canadian Nationals.

So, how is my foot? Well, it's better than it was five weeks ago. That's something!

A Blessing in Disguise?

An x-ray, an ulstrasound, and a bone scan later, I finally have an answer to this nagging, ok, excruciating pain in my left foot. The bone scan, although not a pleasant reason to be there, was a pretty cool experience. As the image of my foot came into view my left foot lit up like a Christmas tree and I could finally rest assured that this pain in my foot was not all in my head. The doctor's report confirmed I have an acute stress fracture on my third toe (which is very unusual, btw) and that I am not to run or bike for 6-8 weeks. Wait a minute...I can't bike either?

That news I was not expecting, but since most people can put pressure on their foot after two weeks, even leading them to think the fracture is healed and I could not, it was a sure indication that the delay in healing has likely been influenced by the overly intense bike rides I have been doing in my basement.  I was trying to make up for the "running appetite" I seem to have even when I'm not running. *Sigh*

For all who know me personally, they will affirm that if I have 15 minutes without something to do I get bored. And boredom for me translates into cranky or shopping. So I needed a solution. A solution was quickly arrived at since there really was only one option: swimming. That very day I bought a bathing suit, goggles, a punch card to the nearest pool to my house, and watched two YouTube videos on how to swim. Three days later I've put two punches into that card and swam over 60 laps. I'm quite proud of this! Not because I've swam 60 laps, that's no great feat in itself, but because water is, and has been for many many years,  my biggest fear. I will bungee jump, I would jump out of a plane given the opportunity, but I will avoid water like the plague. I was quite convinced, and even accepting of the fact, that I would die with this fear. But then I got to thinking...maybe this six week hiatus from running and cycling will in fact be my ticket to overcoming the greatest fear of my life.

My husband is also out of commission for six weeks so the timing of my injury is almost humorous. He came to watch my first "swim" and I laugh thinking about it because I was like a child after every lap looking for him behind the glass with a thumbs up or a big grin as if to say, "Did you just see that?!!!"

I went back alone the next day on my way home from work. I swam a kilometre, the slowest kilometre I have ever covered. And as I was swimming I saw an older lady in the "slow" lane beside me making gains on me and it got me excited. I know this seems like a very strange thing to be excited about. But little old ladies and me getting passed by them has a history.

Come back at least 7 years ago with me when I ran my second half marathon ever. I was untrained and crossed the line barely in 1:51:XX. And when I say barely that's because I nearly died trying to beat 1:50. But a 70-79 category woman did. She beat me! A 70-79 year old woman beat me?!! I see her up on the podium getting her first place age-group award and thought to myself, "Wow! I have a long way to go!" I don't think she knows how much she inspired me to run faster but I also don't think she'd be able to catch me now. I hope this transpires into swimming.

It's a humbling experience, doing something out of your comfort zone and not being very good at it. But think about how many times we have all accomplished something by putting ourselves into a state of discomfort? No one PBs without being in a state of discomfort. In fact, my motto always is: It never feels good to PB! But, it sure feels good after. This is what endurance athlethes do best! We perservere through pain and push our limits even if it means only a slightly better PB. We are used to discomfort and being really bad at something is just another form of discomfort. It can only get better from here!

So, can I call my stress fracture a blessing in disguise? I think I can. As that older lady proved, I have 40+ years of running ahead of me, so what's 6 weeks in the grand scheme of things? Let's call it a blip! And while this blip is occuring, I am GOING to learn how to swim! And heck, I've always wanted to do a triathlon....

What's Next?

I had saved my post this week with the intent of another TBT; however I thought it would be more beneficial to share the findings of my husbands research on Vitamin C. "Tis the season" to start downing the stuff to avoid the inevitable flu season that is upon us. But be careful how much you take!!

For those who read my debut post you will recall that I experienced intense kidney pain near the last quarter of my race. A few weeks leading up to that race my husband and I were, apparently, overdosing on vitamin C. The side effects of that include kidney pain (even kidney stones), diarrhea, headache, abdominal bloating and cramps, and heartburn. The pain in my stomach I described as a heart burn or acid reflux feeling, termed by me as "gut rot". My husband was experiencing mega heartburn too! It is worth mentioning this is uncommon for both of us. Not putting two and two together we kept at it with our "it tastes horrible but it works!" attitude and downed 1000mg per day for two weeks. Kidney pain, diarrhea, and stomach pain explained. 

My blood work also came back normal which perplexed my doctor given the symptoms I was having. So much so he took it upon himself to do extra research (did I mention this was a walk in - kudos to Wellpoint Health - Chaparral) and called me on my holiday to assure me I was ok and he is now certain it was exercise induced. Will share more of that when I have finally made my follow up appointment to collect his research. Needless to say I'm very happy that I rejected the impromptu colon exam I was offered as that would have been an unfortunate unnecessary experience. Ha!

So What's Next?

Now that I know I'm healthy to continue running I'm not going to pretend I'm not also excited for a little racing hiatus. Between bike races and running races this year, since spring I've done over 15 races and I'm raced out! I think a mental break is in order before I join the ranks of the elite crew at Calgary Scotiabank Half Marathon next May, if accepted. My race time at BMO qualified me for this (complimentary entry status only but still pretty cool) and I figure it's an opportunity I should take, circumstances permitting. That being said, I'm sure you'll bump into me, or pass me, or be passed by me at some local races or along fish creek park in the next few months, but don't expect stellar performances ;) I'm going to enjoy the schedule of "whatever workout I feel like doing" for the next few months while I get back into the game mentally. 

I'll continue to write and share things I have learned in my amateur experience but the new race stories may be fewer and farther between. But hang tight...I'll be back on the racing scene before the snow is gone!