Recently my sister posted a blog about anxiety which I really admired because for one, she's not one to speak out (the one area we are very different ;)) and two, I suffer from it too but have never fully accepted that until now. As I'm aging it's getting worse and the only reason I can think of is just how much I have to lose now. I feel lucky to have been given a second chance at marriage, the ability to do what I love in sport, and good health to do it. Anxiety makes me fear losing it all and anxiety at times causes me to be certain that it will all flutter away any day now. And somehow, just somehow, sport enables me to conquer this anxiety, and do things and push limits I've already convinced myself on any given day are not possible.
There's my intro to this past month. Now let's talk about the pretty cool opportunities I've been given to face my anxiety head on.
May started our bike racing season off. I've been training hard this winter with Jack Van Dyck out of Talisman Centre and even though I've seen huge improvements, I am never confident until I put them out on the race course. I told my coach I wanted top 3 in the Velocity ITT and the rest didn't matter! 1st in the ITT, 1st in the Roadrace, and 8th in the crit for an overall placement of 3rd for the weekend and a few extra bucks in my pocket. Good things can happen when I face my anxiety head on! I never ever expected to win that roadrace, and had convinced myself once again, a once in a lifetime experience. Oh wait - that was last year I convinced myself of that. There's such a thing as once in a lifetime experience repeating itself?
How about organizing a team of strong talented beautiful women to attempt a Guinness World Record? How about achieving a Guinness World Record and crushing it by almost 30k?! Why set limits when you don't even know what they are? Another once in a lifetime experience...or was it? I feel like this group of ladies are bonded for life and may just have other tricks up their sleeves. Stay tuned!
This past weekend I entered a duathlon for training for my upcoming Great White North Duathlon that is my target race of this season. I went in without expectations and surprisingly less anxiety than ever. My foot pain had returned and I almost didn't do it because I'd convinced myself if I did my foot would break again. It didn't. I ran hard, I biked hard, I ran hard again (yes I puked a bit) and managed third place overall and first woman overall, chicking all but two guys. Still not sure how that happened!
What's to come? Well, June is full of bike races, then the duathlon in July and a Gran Fondo. And then I plan to "retire" for a year and experience another once in a lifetime experience and try for a baby of my own. I'm pretty convinced this will be a one time thing, but I'm learning I can't say that anymore when something amazing happens!
What is your once in a lifetime? What makes you SO happy you are pretty sure it couldn't possibly happen twice? We all have them! Find yours...it's a powerful tool for coping with the ups and downs of life, whatever that means for you!
I am a proud supporter of women in sport. And it doesn't mean winning races. It means putting your all into something. Letting yourself face your fears and proving to yourself that you can do just about anything you set your mind to. Have you wanted to start your own business? Have you wanted to travel somewhere? Have you wanted to change careers, or even just move jobs? I dare you....
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