Positivity

I am a person with a big love of life. This doesn't mean that things always go my way. In fact, I'm sure as often as they do they don't. But recently I'd realized I'd lost my joy for the day-to-day. My workouts had become chores, making dinner another "job", and talking about my day with my husband and stepkids a burden. In fact, all the things that used to put me in my happy place were suddenly just extra things I had to do. What happened? How did it happen? 

I read a saying on the side of a lululemon bag once (I know - profound ;) that has resonated with me ever since: if you wake up two days in a row unhappy, change something. Sure, we can all have a bad day, but when it starts to become your norm, it's up to each of us to recognize this and make changes.

She probably has no idea how much her positive energy affected me when I met her. All the ladies on the Guinness team were fantastic and when I say they all inspired me for one reason or another that is wholeheartedly the truth. But one lady I got to know a little better and when messaging me the other day she said, "Life is Awesome!!!" It made me stop, evaluate, and question why I even had to stop. I have good health, I have an AMAZING and gorgeous husband, I have two pretty great stepkids, I love being active and busy, but I was not facing the reality: I was unhappy in one major area of my life. I responded with "It is pretty great!" but immediately missed that passion for life she has that I used to have. And knew it needed to change, now! (Thank you Debbie :) So, what was it? What was causing me to lose my passion for the day-to-day? The answer was simple: my job.

Changing a job is scary. Especially when you're well respected at your job and you make a good paycheque and you're used to your routine and so are your managers (ie: I have a hard run tonight so I'm checking out early...). Making a decision based on feeling rather than logic can be scary. But no matter what logic told me - good pay, great benefits, etc etc - the emotion had taken over and I'd lost my love of my day-to-day. I missed the feeling of being challenged and the feeling of being scared and excited about the next project at work. I missed thinking life is awesome ALL the time instead of just before and after work. I missed not dreading Monday's and living for Friday's. 

So, I've taken the leap. And it's a big one and one that has me getting more time for me but less pay as a result. It has me reworking my routine and being excited about it! I haven't even started and already tonight making dinner was fun and chatting with the kids about their day was fun! 

Someone at work expressed their sadness for me leaving today but then said, "I'm happy for you. Your light is back!" And that was the only thing I needed to hear to know I had made the right decision. I don't even talk to this lady much and even SHE could recognize my light had gotten a little dimmer than it used to be. I am so excited for this next opportunity and shining brighter than ever! Thank you to my husband for always supporting my decisions and always choosing happiness over money! 

The picture below is an exaggeration (sorta) as I left my job for the last time today! Excited much? Ah, the old me is still in there :)